Threesome Tips


1) The biggest thing is communication. Before having the threesome ensure both your boyfriend and you have the same understanding. Talk about your boundaries, what is acceptable behavior, and the limits to the encounter. Any differences in understanding take time to work them out. Once the both of you are on the "same page" then communicate our boundaries to the invited third person and make sure they are on the "same page" with the two of you. After the threesome and as soon as possible begin to talk about the experience. Using that discussion to work through any residual issues. Also use it a way to gauge if the both of you are willing to have another threesome and if so, what changes need to be made.

2) Always remember and never forget that a threesome is about sex, nothing more. This means there should be no jealousy and no emotional involvement. If there are signs of jealousy or feelings are beginning to develop then it is important that the "threesome relationship" with the third person ends immediately.

3) All participants have the right at anytime to say "no" and to change their minds. In a threesome situation "no" means no and you should not have to repeat it.

4) Follow your boundaries and do not change them in the heat of the moment. If you are going to change your boundaries do it before meeting the third person or agree to change them during your debriefing, after the threesome. If boundaries have been intentionally or recklessly violated then the threesome should come to an end.

5) Wear clothing that you feel comfortable and sexy wearing. Remember if you are comfortable with what you are wearing you will come across confident and sexy. Ask your boyfriend and the other guy what they like to see a woman wear. Use their input as a way for you to decide what to wear.

6) Starting off the threesome is open to interpretation. Best advice I can give from experience is do not have the other guy come over and "dive into it." Instead include some "social time" where all three of you talk or do an activity together. Sometimes going out for dinner, theater, or a movie is a good ice breaker. Then from there slowly work towards transitioning to have the threesome. Things you might want to consider for transitioning include watching a porno, you undressing in front of them, encouraging one of the males to play with you and then inviting the other to join. Other things might include include playing a game of naked twister, or strip poker. In any event take some time with your boyfriend to discuss what he is comfortable with and how the two of you want to begin transitioning.

7) Avoid too much alcohol and do not use illicit drugs including cannabis. Limited alcohol, like 1 - 2 drinks, is acceptable as a social lubricant and as a part of social customs. However the problem you will run into if you use too much alcohol or illicit drugs is you will exceed your boundaries. Exceeding your boundaries will create problems for you including increasing your risk for pregnancy, STDs, HIV / AIDs, and rape. Also too much alcohol and illicit drugs may also fuel emotions that may lead to drama or violence.

8) Regarding positions that will have to be something that all three of you decide. In a threesome situation, mfm, it is not uncommon where each male has a turn penetrating the female separately. If this is the case then any position you can think of will work. In some cases positions like split roast (one male penetrating while other receives oral) or double penetration (DP) are possible. Deciding the limit of male on male interaction will have to be decided before the threesome and it will also dictate what positions are used.

9) Safe-sex must be a must. Safe-sex does not just include using a condom and a back-up contraceptive. It also means planning for your safety.

10) Remember leave as a couple.

11) Except for quick bathroom breaks make sure that your boyfriend is with at all times. This will protect you from any influencing the other male have on you and will also help to keep you safe.

12) Make sure the other male understands his role and the reason for the threesome. Many males wrongly believe that a couple has a threesome due to the fact that there is a problem with the male in the bedroom and that they have been selected due to their "special talents." It is important that the other male understands that, as a couple, you are happy and your feelings are solely for your boyfriend. The other male has been invited to enhance your sexual enjoyment and that you could have selected any number of males.

13) You are doing the right thing by going to a hotel. The one piece of advice I would give here is to make sure it is a hotel where sounds cannot be easily heard. Last thing you need is to be hearing children running down the hall, children yelling, or other people hear what is going on in your room.

14) Work out beforehand how the expenses are going to be split for the hotel. Ideally I would recommend that your boyfriend and you get a room along with the other male paying for his room. Reason for this is twofold. First if things do not work out, for whatever reason, the other male has his room. Second your boyfriend and you may not be comfortable with him staying all night with the two of you. So, it may give you some space.

15) To make special, since I do not know you personally, I can only offer some very generic advice. If your boyfriend is alright with you flirting with the other male I would recommend allow some flirting to occur. Also if your boyfriend is alright with some intimate contact (e.g. hugging, careressing, kissing, ect) with the other male happening then I would consider allowing some of it to happen between being social and transitioning to the threesome.

Another piece advice I would recommend is to build up to the sex. Let the males romance you and let you know how special you are. Simply put let them work for your attention and allow yourself to enjoy the added attention.

Thirdly, create a atmosphere that is relaxing and maybe even a bit romantic. Hotels can be a bit impersonal at times but you can do something to make it special. Maybe have both of them give you a massage together, using candles, or music in the background. Finally make the other male feel invited and welcomed.

16) If you are not comfortable with the situation then do not go through with it. However there are a few things you can try. One, as early stated, have the males give you a massage. Normally I do not recommend this but if you hare having problems getting comfortable then a suggestion would be for your boyfriend to leave for five minutes to go to the "bathroom" so that you might be comfortable with the other male. Final suggestion in regard to this maybe to have your first meeting with the other male be a meet & greet. By this I mean it is a social situation with no sex. The purpose is for everyone to get comfortable with each other without the pressure of sex lurking in the background.

Other links:

20 Tips You Should Read Before Entering a Threesome

15 Things No one Tells You About Having a Threesome