hey beautiful. I need advice/insight and you are the best source of arousal and information that i know of ;) we kinda have similar situations but you’re obviously doing a much better job of making the most of it while keeping things under wraps. and ive got to commend u for that; Bravo sweetheart you’re my hero! like you i am in a relationship, not married but i have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years, and we’re pretty serious for a young age (me 22, she 25). she loves me very much and i love her, for the most part. like any relationship we have our ups and downs but i cant shake the feeling that im doing something awful to her, and here is why. All my life i have been attracted to guys and curious about…things? well probably more than just things, my libido is like immortal and my perversions/fantasies/curiosities are constantly multiplying and diversifying. but ive never had the courage to do anything about it because i was/am afraid how it might affect my personal/public life and image. and all that pent up lust has formed this like primal, beastly alter ego or something that’s feels like its going to take control of me.  I cant keep that “monster” in its cage anymore. What should i do? How do you cope with your hidden lust when you know your partner whom you care deeply for doesn’t share the same sexual interests? Is it enough for you personally to simply release your sexual tensions and frustrations by means of the internet? Does joining an online gay/bi/fetish dating site and flirting with other guys anonymously make me a scumbag? Would i be a dirtbag if i were to act on those flirtations and experiment with a guy anonymously? im sorry to unload this huge load of questions on you, but you really are the only person i feel i can relate to or talk to about this sort of thing, and any of your thoughts, insights, and advice would be tremendously appreciated. with love - M

While I’m not really in the same boat as you because my husband is willing to explore my kinks I can understand the battle that can go on inside your head about this stuff.  How the need to be viewed a certain way by others can conflict with our more taboo needs.  The thing is those sides of ourselves are not something you need to advertise to the world.  Do you think my family and friends all know how much I masturbate or what I masturbate to…no.  Does worrying about it stop me? No.  You have a high sex drive and have been curious about guys your whole life.   Stifling these things is not a thing idea hon.  Embrace your kinky side…sex is a wonderful this to love.  The good thing is that you are young and should be using this time to explore.  I’ve lost track of how often I hear from guys who are in sexless relationships and feel trapped and never got a chance to explore their bi sides.  Trust me…that’s not a good place to be.  

Have you tried approaching your gf?  How do you know she doesn’t share your interests?  If she is open to exploring sex and has a good attitude towards it than I would tell her about your curiosities.  At the very least you won’t have to hide those needs from her.  She may not want to run out and have an MMF but maybe would be someone to talk to about it.  Could you imagine going your whole life having to keep it secret?  If she is not approachable about it then yes there are outlets out there but you are still hiding a side of yourself from her and now sneaking around.  For some guys they feel they have no other options.   You’re 22 with no kids and no marriage to hold you back so now is the time to embrace it and figure out what you want in life so you don’t have regrets down the road! xoxox   



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