I don't think it means you are messed up in the head darling. It's natural to be admire the human form whether male or female...both bodies are beautiful in their own way. I think were are all curious about what it would be like to be the opposite sex. It's also natural to be envious of what you don't have so long as you can also appreciate and value what you do have I wouldn't worry too much. As far as not thinking about either sex in a sexual way...well there are lots of people who are asexual. I have no clue how old you are but I think you need to explore that more. Watch porn...all kinds and see if anything stirs an arousal in you and go from there.