My partner seems to vaguely enjoy sex but never intensely. She can't have penetrative sex because it hurts her. She doesn't think she's ever had an orgasm. I can't enjoy sex if she's only half-interested but voicing my dissatisfaction would only exacerbate the problem. I love her but I can't help but fantasize about being with someone more interested. Any advice?

That can be frustrating hon…a position a lot of men find themselves in.  Whether it’s the elusive orgasm or discomfort during sex or lack of sex drive it seems that woman have the deck stacked against them sexually.  While orgasms have always been easy for me I can relate to discomfort and lack of sex drive.  Prior to having my daughter in my 20’s I experienced both.  The drive issue is frustrating for both partners and the discomfort sucked because when you were finally in the mood it was there to rain on your parade.  I couldn’t imagine not cumming on top of all of that.  I wouldn’t call what I experienced pain…it was more feeling raw afterwards.  Pain during sex can be the result of serious health issues so first and foremost I would encourage her to visit a gynecologist to rule anything major out.  Minor things like yeast infections, bladder infections and constipation can also make sex uncomfortable and I have several friends who suffer from them regularly.  Dryness can also be an issue so lube can be a lifesaver there.  I think I would have a frank discussion with her hon.  The intention not to make her feel bad but just ignoring this problem is no good for either of you.  As far as the orgasm…has she ever had one period??  If she can’t even experience pleasure on her own then that is a whole other issue that perhaps a sex therapist can help her with.  If she can cum than she needs to communicate with you better on how she achieves it.  Without pleasure I can understand why her interest in sex is so minimal.  Hopefully that gives you a place to start.  Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.  If any followers have some helpful advice please let us know. xoxoxo


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