I am a sex addict and submissive, my happiness depends on my sex life. I had gone to the therapist already and managed to not destroy my life because of it, but I still need the sex, masturbation is not enough, I need the person there, enjoing it. My girlfriend knows it and I love her, we've been together for 3 years, but she rarely wanting sex. I don't know what to do, every time I bring it up with her it only make worse, depressing both of us and making she fell as "not enough".

Tricky…addictions are rough…I’m glad you sought out a therapist.  When you say she rarely wants sex…how often is that?  What may not seem like a lot to you may be a lot to her.  What about couples therapy?  If she is committed to you and making the relationship work it may be you will need to approach working through it as a couple. Remember this is your issue and not hers.  It’s unrealistic to except she will ever fill 100% of your needs as they exceed even the norm for a guy.  As I said in my last post girls can have a litany of sexual issues working against them that will never bring their need for sex on par with a guys.  It really comes down to how committed you both are to making your relationship work.  Ignoring the issue because it makes her feel bad is not a good idea.  If you feel angry or frustrated about your needs not being met that will not have a good impact in the long run.  It’s not fair to her to continue on in a relationship where you will never be satisfied with what she can bring to the relationship.  No easy answer I’m afraid darling.  Best to deal with it now and either work together to make it better or move on. xoxoxo

(the sex adict) two times in a month, sometimes less than that. She has her litanny of health problems, a mioma in her uterus, infections frequently. Often when I search her for sex she say to me - We will have later today - I know that she won't do it, but I still craving for it, believing that today she won't be deceiving me. Sometimes even when we are about to have it, her mioma makes her sick. nausea and pain... I know it is not her fault, but it makes me so frustrated and sad.

Bummer darling.  Not an easy fix when someone has actual health issues that interfere and of course you have no way of knowing if they are real issues in the moment or she is using it as an excuse because she is not in the mood.  Knowing you have a sex addiction maybe take some time to seriously consider what the next 20 years of your life could look like in that relationship.  Think about both your needs and do some soul searching about what you can live with and what you can’t live without.  Good luck hon :) xoxoxo



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