My partner seems to vaguely enjoy sex but never intensely. She can't have penetrative sex because it hurts her. She doesn't think she's ever had an orgasm. I can't enjoy sex if she's only half-interested but voicing my dissatisfaction would only exacerbate the problem. I love her but I can't help but fantasize about being with someone more interested. Any advice?

That can be frustrating hon…a position a lot of men find themselves in.  Whether it’s the elusive orgasm or discomfort during sex or lack of sex drive it seems that woman have the deck stacked against them sexually.  While orgasms have always been easy for me I can relate to discomfort and lack of sex drive.  Prior to having my daughter in my 20’s I experienced both.  The drive issue is frustrating for both partners and the discomfort sucked because when you were finally in the mood it was there to rain on your parade.  I couldn’t imagine not cumming on top of all of that.  I wouldn’t call what I experienced pain…it was more feeling raw afterwards.  Pain during sex can be the result of serious health issues so first and foremost I would encourage her to visit a gynecologist to rule anything major out.  Minor things like yeast infections, bladder infections and constipation can also make sex uncomfortable and I have several friends who suffer from them regularly.  Dryness can also be an issue so lube can be a lifesaver there.  I think I would have a frank discussion with her hon.  The intention not to make her feel bad but just ignoring this problem is no good for either of you.  As far as the orgasm…has she ever had one period??  If she can’t even experience pleasure on her own then that is a whole other issue that perhaps a sex therapist can help her with.  If she can cum than she needs to communicate with you better on how she achieves it.  Without pleasure I can understand why her interest in sex is so minimal.  Hopefully that gives you a place to start.  Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.  If any followers have some helpful advice please let us know. xoxoxo
 
 
I am a sex addict and submissive, my happiness depends on my sex life. I had gone to the therapist already and managed to not destroy my life because of it, but I still need the sex, masturbation is not enough, I need the person there, enjoing it. My girlfriend knows it and I love her, we've been together for 3 years, but she rarely wanting sex. I don't know what to do, every time I bring it up with her it only make worse, depressing both of us and making she fell as "not enough".

Tricky…addictions are rough…I’m glad you sought out a therapist.  When you say she rarely wants sex…how often is that?  What may not seem like a lot to you may be a lot to her.  What about couples therapy?  If she is committed to you and making the relationship work it may be you will need to approach working through it as a couple. Remember this is your issue and not hers.  It’s unrealistic to except she will ever fill 100% of your needs as they exceed even the norm for a guy.  As I said in my last post girls can have a litany of sexual issues working against them that will never bring their need for sex on par with a guys.  It really comes down to how committed you both are to making your relationship work.  Ignoring the issue because it makes her feel bad is not a good idea.  If you feel angry or frustrated about your needs not being met that will not have a good impact in the long run.  It’s not fair to her to continue on in a relationship where you will never be satisfied with what she can bring to the relationship.  No easy answer I’m afraid darling.  Best to deal with it now and either work together to make it better or move on. xoxoxo

(the sex adict) two times in a month, sometimes less than that. She has her litanny of health problems, a mioma in her uterus, infections frequently. Often when I search her for sex she say to me - We will have later today - I know that she won't do it, but I still craving for it, believing that today she won't be deceiving me. Sometimes even when we are about to have it, her mioma makes her sick. nausea and pain... I know it is not her fault, but it makes me so frustrated and sad.

Bummer darling.  Not an easy fix when someone has actual health issues that interfere and of course you have no way of knowing if they are real issues in the moment or she is using it as an excuse because she is not in the mood.  Knowing you have a sex addiction maybe take some time to seriously consider what the next 20 years of your life could look like in that relationship.  Think about both your needs and do some soul searching about what you can live with and what you can’t live without.  Good luck hon :) xoxoxo

 
 
I don't believe I see it on your blog often, if at all, but I've come to enjoy you and your blog quite a lot and was wondering if you knew how to size a male chastity device. I'm very curious and excited for my girlfriend to "lock me up" so that she can use me whenever and however she wants, teasing me, and denying me unless I please her, however I admit I'm not sure how you get them sized. Any idea would be appreciated, if you not sure, thank you anyways for having such a fantastic blog!

Chastity is not a subject I know anything about I am afraid.  I did look up some info for you so hopefully this helps! :) xoxoxo

http://www.tickleberry.co.uk/male-chastity/buying-guide-device/
 
 
Hi, I'm a guy and I have always looked at guys and like envied their bodies, I think because I wanted to look more like them. You know with bigger muscles and all. But then when I look at girls I look at them the same way, like envious of their bodies and imagining that I look like them, with big boobs and all. I don't really look at guys or girls and imagine having sex with them. Do you think that this means that I'm like messed up in the head, what should I do?

I don't think it means you are messed up in the head darling.  It's natural to be admire the human form whether male or female...both bodies are beautiful in their own way.  I think were are all curious about what it would be like to be the opposite sex.  It's also natural to be envious of what you don't have so long as you can also appreciate and value what you do have I wouldn't worry too much.  As far as not thinking about either sex in a sexual way...well there are lots of people who are asexual.  I have no clue how old you are but I think you need to explore tha
t more.  Watch porn...all kinds and see if anything stirs an arousal in you and go from there.

 
 
Just a question about cock rings. Which is the one to get. The ones that go around the base of the cock or the ones around the balls too :) thanks in advance :)


Well my guy prefers the one that goes around both the balls and the base of the cock.  Here is a quick definition of what they both do separately:

The purpose of a cock ring around the base is to trap blood inside the penis in order to maintain an erection, or encourage a stronger erection. 

double or triple cock ring is a cock ring that has additional rings for restraining the testicles (either together or separately). In orgasm, the testicles usually retract towards the body before ejaculation. These cock rings change and intensifies the sensation of orgasm by forcing the testicles to stay away from the body.

Double Cock Ring:

http://www.sextoyfun.com/Mens-Sex-Toys/Cock-Rings/Classic-Cock-Rings/Double-Helix-Quick-Release-Erection-Enhancer/sku-SE1414-50?a=bbgl

Tripple Cock Ring:

http://www.sextoyfun.com/Mens-Sex-Toys/Cock-Rings/Cock-Cages/Quick-release-cock-cage/sku-SE1419-00?a=bbgl

So, I’d recommend buying a standard cock ring (you can pick them up super cheap in rubber) and a either a double or tripple cock ring and give them both a try and see which you prefer :) xoxoxo


 
 
Okay, my gf and I have been together for almost a year now and I have been trying to find out what kinds of things she likes as far as sex goes(She likes spanking and doggie style is her favorite position are as much as I have found out). Is there any advice that you can give in this situation. There really is not much that I am not willing to do, so there is no worry of judgement coming from me, I would just like to know so I can please her better.

It may be that she doesn’t know all of the things that turn her on. Guys tend to surf porn more than girls and therefore are exposed to more things.  That’s a good sign that she likes those two things.  Spankings may mean she has a submissive side and might discover she likes things like hair pulling, name calling, restraints, nipple clamps, forced or denied orgasms, etc.  I would suggest finding some porn videos with a dom/sub theme and watch them with her.  Play with her during it and gauge her response to different the things going on.  If she seems responsive, you can explore with her a bit.  Lots of couples have joint blogs on here by way of exploring and opening up communication about things that turn them on.  It’s a great way to expose her to a bunch of kinks that may be a huge turn on for her.  I’ve found so many new things this past year that I didn’t even know existed ;) xoxox

 
 
For all of the supposedly trans* people sending you messages, there sure are a lot of transmisogynistic terms being used by them. Any idea what that's about? Seems more like anon fetishists trying to get off than people who actually struggle with gender dysphoria to me.

It’s possible they are not transgendered.  There is such a wide gamut on here…from people who fantasize about it only to those with real life struggles.  It’s like anything with porn…people glamorize it…and throw around terms that can be offensive to some.  Perhaps they find it an escape to come on Tumblr and forget their troubles and just want to play and feel desired by people who appreciate them? Either way you are good to remind us of the more serious side hon :) xoxoxo
 
 
I am 24 and have a great girlfriend of a year. I want to suck some cock and maybe get fucked by a guy though. Do you think it's alright if I do that and not tell my girlfriend?

Well that’s not really my call…that’s something you’ve got to decide for yourself hon. Have you approached her about your interest in cock? I wouldn’t jump the gun and go behind her back if you haven’t even explored if that is something you can share with her as a couple. I can certainly understand how a lot of men get to a point where they know its not an option with their partner and they know they can’t deny that side of them….and go out and satisfy that need on the side. It’s a big deal to make that step though so make sure it’s worth any consequence that may arise. And always, always play safe…you don’t want to risk her health because you were careless. Hope that helps hon :) xoxoxo