Hey so i just started hooking up with guys recently. I really enjoy getting fucked in my ass and getting rimmed, but i'm having a small problem. I can't seem to get hard around other men. I can suck them, give them handjobs, play with their bodies but none of that gets me going. There is one guy that i meet up with that blows me and gets me hard but shortly after my erection goes away. Could this be because these are just hookups and I might need an emotional connection? Any tips?

I would say so yeah.  It may be that you need a certain level of comfort and trust with your partners that you are not getting with these guys.  Most people do.  The physical act is just part of what makes us aroused…if mentally you have a disconnect with the guys then it may be putting the brakes on your erections.  I’d spend more time getting to know the guys, before exchanging digits and hooking up.  Have a few online sessions where you role play and jerk off together or on cam.  If you decide to meet up then maybe takes things slower and let it progress naturally…but only if you are feeling excited by him.  Try exploring different types of guys and different dynamics like dom/sub play.  Good luck hon! :) xoxoxo
I have a friend, we have known each other for about a year... We both were under the impression the other was straight but we got closer over time and recently opened up to each other that we both had feelings for each other.
I am in a m/f relationship, she is very open with me exploring my curiosity. I had fooled around a few time as a younger teenager but never got to open up or explore. He has never had sex or fooled around with a guy or girl....
Very quickly "one day" turned into "lets meet up tomorrow"....we discussed the things we wanted to do and said we'd take it slow.

I went to pick him up and we went to my house and started watching star-wars. He went to the bathroom and came out in his white briefs. Things got going really fast after that. We fooled around for over an hour. It wasn't awkward or anything during, in fact it was really enjoyable. After, we layed there finishing our movie, had dinner and eventually put our clothes on and I took him home.
It got weird when he got out of the car and didn't give me a hug..hes hugged me every time ive seen him since before we actually got to know each-other. I figured not to look into much because we both had feelings to figure out and what not.
It's been about a week since then and we barely talk (we sent 100's of texts sometimes a day). One night he texted me in the middle of the night and said something along the lines of "I enjoyed it a lot, id like to do it again but I moved too fast and I want to get comfortable around each-other again."

I replied saying I understood and felt the same way. Let's take our time and see what happens, no pressure. Let's always be friends (something we had discussed previously to fooling around).

I'd like your advice on how to help him get more comfortable and keep him as a friend. I looooved fooling around with him but losing him as a friend isn't worth it. I'm afraid though it may be too late.

It does sound like the reality of what he did is may be playing mind games on him.  This is a guy who lost his virginity to his male friend….it may be a lot for him to process.  In the moment when guys are horny it’s all good…he may be second guessing himself now that it’s happened.  I would think the best thing to do is sit down with him and have a talk.  What did he think of what happened?  Did it feel weird?  Did he expect it to be different?  Does he still have feelings for you?  What makes him feel uncomfortable to be around you now?  Have it all out with him with the agreement that afterwards you put it behind you and either go forward or move on as just friends.  The whole ‘if we don’t talk about it it will all go back to normal’ is not the best approach.  Assure him your friendship comes first and the rest is just icing on the cake but either way it’s okay.  Hope that helps hon…good luck! :) xoxoxo

I love your blog and always read your advice! You are brilliant. You may have been asked this before but what is it that turns you on so much about seeing two guys fuck? X

Aww…thanks hon :)  What do I love about manlove?  For starters…

* I love how sexual men are…their libidos match up better then m/f.

* I love the sexual tension between two curious men…I’ve read a lot of manlove books for this reason.  

* I love men who like things in their asses.

* Double the cum.

* Sex between two men two men doesn’t have to be pretty…just feel good.

* Mutual desire…specifically in porn…no FAKE orgasms.  

* Two cocks….mmmm…cocks.

* Passion between two men…especially kissing…oh fuck YES!

* I may have been a gay man in a previous life.

* There is just something undeniably attractive about two masculine bodies together.


Is it natural?


Do you think sex between two men is natural?

Sure.  We’re all just people with wants and needs connecting with one another…what’s more natural than that?  I remember when I was younger making out with girls and it felt natural.  People have too much crap in their heads.  Man, woman…makes no difference imho :) xoxoxo 

I'm bi curious an I would like to do something with a guy if always wanted to be dominated an forced to suck a guys dick but I'm so nervous to push my self into doing this. How would I take the step?

Hmmm..well a lot of guys have success finding dominant women to bridge that gap.  They can help set it up, find the third guy and provide the force you need to enjoy your experience.  I would give Fetlife a try…it’s a great network for finding people with the same kinks.  There are also a bunch of other sources on my website:


Good luck hon :) xoxoxo

I'm confused and would like any input. I love to suck cock but I don't find guys attractive. I'm not sure what this makes me, and I'm not sure how to proceed. I should say I'm very attracted to women and love having sex with women. Any ideas?

Well darling you are one of many men and women like myself who prefer the opposite sex but have a desire to enjoy the same sex to some degree.  Obviously you’ve made it passed the hard question…should I suck a cock?  You love it but your desire ends there so no real relationship potential with a man.  Have you considered finding a woman (assuming you aren’t in a relationship) who enjoys bi men so that you can have your cake and eat it too?  Mmm…cake ;) xoxoxo
I wish every girl had your passion for bi guys. It's standard that guys find bi girls to be super turn-ons. But women tend to look at bi guys as "less than" or odd. It's a shame, and I hope more women are secretly like you and it's just social norms keeping them from admitting it. Great work!

Thank you :)  I think it’s becoming more and more standard to view bi guys as sexy and not odd.  I know I’m biased but I see the huge amount of women buying up bi/gay books like they are on crack.  It’s hot for good reason and I find that even mainstream authors are introducing bi/gay characters in their books which plants the idea.  That’s how it happen for me and I sort of woke up and went holy fuck yes…how did I not think this was hot before?? :)  Plus I have noticed that so many younger guys and girls seem to be interested and open to the idea.  So hopefully their generation will  embrace it! :) xoxoxox
I know you like guy on guy porn, but do you think women in general get off on it? Does the average wife or girlfriend secretly want their man to explore other men?

Not necessarily.  I think a lot of woman view gay sex as something that they are not a part of.  It doesn’t ever involve them…it doesn’t appear in mainstream porn like GG does.  I think also that women who don’t enjoy anal or bj’s might not think what goes on in gay sex is hot.  So it helps if your woman is a little kinky and open minded.  I have sounded out a few of my real life friends on this and they all kind of wrinkled up their nose at the idea.  A damn shame too!  I do belong to an online book club of about 50 woman who read nothing but gay books…so that’s a good sign :) xoxoxo